Name Changed To Protect The Innocent

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

My First Triathalon

I was on a bus full of people heading out of town to the race. The coach was talking to all of us, motivating and pumping us up. We rolled into a smallish town that reminded me of Malad or Nephi. The coach decided that we'd stay here for the night and told the driver to pull in to this fancy 5 star hotel. The bus unloaded into the lobby area, only to be seated at a long dining table. We were to have drinks and wait there at the table until, one-by-one, the bell boys took us to our rooms. It was at this point I realized that I was a vampire and in the company of vampires...all of us quite tall and gorgeous, like super models. For some reason, we had to leave the hotel, before we were found out. We all left our meeting place, to our rooms to gather our things to leave...but I went a little slower and watched one other girl stay behind in our meeting place. She was so beautiful and had ice blue eyes. She rang for room service to come and when they brought her food, she bit the neck of the woman who brought the food [human food, that is]. I knew she was going to get in trouble for killing a human as we were trying to make our escape...but then we both heard people coming. She stopped biting and since the woman wasn't sucked dry yet, she suddenly turned into a new vampire. Just then, the rest of our group came back into the meeting room. They were not in their normal forms however, as we were shape-shifting vampires. One was a triceratops, one was an alligator and one was a giant worm. These forms must have been more inconspicuous than beautiful women walking about.

The next thing I remembered was waking up the next day. I met the rest of the triathletes in a tent outside the starting line. Trouble was, none of us had swimming suits. The consensus was to just wear our underwear to swim in. I was worried about mine being too sheer and was embarrassed at the thought, so I put on my black Valkyrie t-shirt over top. I then proceeded with the first part of the race, the swimming. It was down a shallow, narrow canal-like thing. It seemed to be downhill, with lots of twists and turns, more like a water slide, but in a dirty canal. The end of the canal shot me into a warehouse, where I landed in a pool of mostly frozen water. I had to swim over to an opening in the side of the building, where I landed on a moving metal platform. It spun around and spit me out onto the running track to finish the race [apparently this was a 2 event triathalon]. I remembered thinking how weird it was to run barefoot around this track to finish the race. And no one seemed to be around, either I was first or last.

At the finish line, I ran into my friend Joseph from high school. He told me he was preparing to run a marathon the next year. We started to talk about races and I asked where he lived these days [it'd been forever since I'd seen him]. He said he lived in some strange, made up sounding town, "you know, over by Tooele". "Oh yes, of course" I knew exactly what he meant and that's when I woke up.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

What is the Airline Industry Coming To?

I was going on a trip with Colette, Irene and Lisa. We went together to the airport, but it looked more like the mall in Pocatello. A short, ornery-looking woman directed all the passengers into a large room, to debrief us on proper flight protocol. We all got to choose who we would sit with on the plane, and I picked Colette [or maybe Lisa...I just remember blonish-brownish curly hair]. We sat next to each other, up on the front row in the middle. Me and my buddy, ColLisa, were waiting for the lecture to start and were whispering quietly and let out a little giggle or two. All the sudden, the ornery woman yelled at us. She said she'd had just about enough of our distractions and wouldn't put up with it any further. She took ColLisa by the arm and told her to go to another room, she'd have to take a different flight. I was so bummed! I couldn't believe she left me alone and we didn't even do anything, let alone interrupt her...she hadn't even begun to speak yet. And she didn't speak...she just lead us into another room, for more instructions.

The other room was big and open, brightly decorated in lights and had people playing musical instruments. The demonstration began with little girls, dressed like fairies in gold, flying around the room. Someone may have been singing too. Then some forms got passed out, for us to fill out the gift we'd like from the airlines, for flying with them. We got to pick which team jersey we'd like to have from a list of about 8 different teams. I didn't recognize most of the teams, but they did have a Colts jersey and I was thrilled! I really wanted to get the jersey for Jeff, but they only had size small and medium for free, anything over that size was $25 extra. I really went back and forth on the size, because I knew Jeff would love it, but I also knew I'd spent enough money already on the flight. So I ended up choosing a small and that's when I woke up.

Schofields - I mean - Sugar City Food Town

For some reason I was in Sugar City at the grocery store.  Share and Colette and I were shopping for something to eat.  I think one of Share's friends was there, too - but I don't remember who.  We were looking for breakfast and Share found this pudding/yogart stuff that was bubble gum flavored and decided that we should all get that.  She opened the little plastic tub and started sqeezing it out and dumping it into her mouth.  I was grossed out - "I hate bubble gum, Share.  You know that."  So I walked over to the produce to find a banana.  They mostly had brown bananas.  A random woman commented under hear breath, "this is the kind of produce you'd expect at a store that only gets a delivery once a week."  She was very rude about it so I responded, "they are not all bad - there are a few that are ok.  And besides, at least you can buy produce.  There are people starving in other countries.  Don't be so picky."  She was quite affronted.  Then another random woman said to me, "do you make your own soap?"  "What?"  "I thought that because you said that, you might be the kind of person who makes her own soap."  Now I am looking at my banana that was partly opened and brown but I didn't want to complain.  As the woman kept talking about the soap, I - for some forgotten reason - took off my pants and shirt and was talking to her in my g's.  I remember saying something about, "In Santa Fe..." and feeling like such a hippie.  Also thinking, "what is it about Sugar City that makes me want to prove some point to ignorant people?"  Just then, one of the cashiers came up to me and asked to speak to me alone.  She took me aside to ask me to please leave - I was not being nice and I was not dressed.  I just thought, "how narrow minded."  Then she took me over to the "cop"/security guard who talked to me for a minute about how he doesn't want any trouble.  Then some kids just outside the window were pushing on it and it was coming unglued at the edges.  So he went to stop them from breaking it completely.  I appologized to the cashier and seized this opportunity to escape.  I found Share and told her we had to go.  Then I woke up.

Monday, February 1, 2010


I was driving to my sports med doctor appointment and realized I hadn't put their new address in my GPS. I started to type in the info, but kept punching the wrong things. Each time I tried to fix it, I'd catch myself and swerve a little in my lane. I tried a couple of times and realized I was driving erratic and should pull over to put the info in.

I pulled into the parking lot of a Taco Time and thought, "I should grab a quick bite, I may not have time later". So I went in and ordered an ice water. I then thought I should probably get something for Bettie and the girls too, because they were probably hungry. I ordered a chocolate milk and one came free. I saw they sold Slushies and thought how much Bettie would love one, so I ordered one for her. They had a delicious looking salad on the menu, that I thought would be good to share, so I ordered that too. It had apples in it.

The girl helping me filled up my drinks first, after giving me two different bottles of different brands of chocolate milk. I thought it was strange that she put my slushy ice water in a cup with the domed lid and put the normal lid on Bettie's Slushy....causing it to spill over the sides. While I was trying to clean it off, the girl went into the back to make my salad. She grabbed a whole bag of apples for the salad and her boss yelled at her for using too many.

The girl was in the back forever, just making my salad. I realized time was getting close to my appointment and I needed to go. So I left and forgot to put the address in my GPS and that's when I woke up.