Name Changed To Protect The Innocent

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Schofields - I mean - Sugar City Food Town

For some reason I was in Sugar City at the grocery store.  Share and Colette and I were shopping for something to eat.  I think one of Share's friends was there, too - but I don't remember who.  We were looking for breakfast and Share found this pudding/yogart stuff that was bubble gum flavored and decided that we should all get that.  She opened the little plastic tub and started sqeezing it out and dumping it into her mouth.  I was grossed out - "I hate bubble gum, Share.  You know that."  So I walked over to the produce to find a banana.  They mostly had brown bananas.  A random woman commented under hear breath, "this is the kind of produce you'd expect at a store that only gets a delivery once a week."  She was very rude about it so I responded, "they are not all bad - there are a few that are ok.  And besides, at least you can buy produce.  There are people starving in other countries.  Don't be so picky."  She was quite affronted.  Then another random woman said to me, "do you make your own soap?"  "What?"  "I thought that because you said that, you might be the kind of person who makes her own soap."  Now I am looking at my banana that was partly opened and brown but I didn't want to complain.  As the woman kept talking about the soap, I - for some forgotten reason - took off my pants and shirt and was talking to her in my g's.  I remember saying something about, "In Santa Fe..." and feeling like such a hippie.  Also thinking, "what is it about Sugar City that makes me want to prove some point to ignorant people?"  Just then, one of the cashiers came up to me and asked to speak to me alone.  She took me aside to ask me to please leave - I was not being nice and I was not dressed.  I just thought, "how narrow minded."  Then she took me over to the "cop"/security guard who talked to me for a minute about how he doesn't want any trouble.  Then some kids just outside the window were pushing on it and it was coming unglued at the edges.  So he went to stop them from breaking it completely.  I appologized to the cashier and seized this opportunity to escape.  I found Share and told her we had to go.  Then I woke up.


  1. This line made me laugh until I cried: "She took me aside to ask me to please leave - I was not being nice and I was not dressed."

    The brown bananas thing was hilarious too. Bettie hates brown bananas, but apparently she'll buy a partly opened brown banana rather than admit there's anything hickish about Sugar City.

  2. LOL!!! That is so awesome Bets. And really, bubble gum yogurt? Eww. I can barely eat decent flavors of yogurt without gagging, none of that pouring it down my throat thing, ugh [shudder].

    I'm with you on the bananas thing. If there is even a hint of brown, it's a gonner [or saved for banana bread].

  3. ROFL!! Great story and great comments!!
    I eat freckled bananas, but I'd rather put them in a shake or bread.
    Bets you are such an advocate of open mindedness!! In your G's just to prove you can! You crack me up!!